Fruit on the Bottom: Temptress of the Deep

Fruit-on-the-bottom irks me.

On the one hand, I believe in consistency. I can’t stand when I run out of diet coke before I’m done eating, and inevitably I have to open a new one, just to drink it with my last few bites – which then means having to nurse the second-half of the can by itself after I’m finished eating, or throw it away. When I go out, I can’t continue with my meal until the server comes back with a refill. (Don’t get me started on this).

So when I eat a yogurt, I want to mix the fruit in with the yogurt evenly and until the entire solution becomes one uniform color with no remaining clumps or swirls of dark-fruit-paste. However clumping seems unavoidable. I inevitably scoop-up the last few bits of fruit that have been hiding-out in the corners by themselves. Unmixed and over-sweet.

Then one day it occurred to me: don’t you see – it’s a blessing. Because now you can scoop the plain yogurt off the top in one big bite, and then make the rest of the experience that-much-sweeter.

But then the inevitable happens – someone puts the gross part on the bottom.

I bought these Trader Joe’s Chocolate-Espresso flavored yogurts. My dietician recommended them because they’re higher in protein and lower in sugar – almost the same ratio as greek yogurt – but they come in chocolate and coffee flavors (for those of us whose sweet-tooth cannot be satisfied by fruit-flavored yogurts).

These Trader Joe’s yogurts – as if trying to find some new way to vex me – put the most-bitter layer of cacao on the bottom – and while it seems to mix-in well, alone it’s just a terrible way to end an otherwise-admirable dessert.

Oh, yogurt, you heartless wench. How you toy with me.

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